What’s the Secret to Being a Less Judgy Person?
When we’re highly judgy of others, we betray the fact that we do not grasp the depth of God’s love for us.
Have you ever had one of those seemingly insignificant conversations that sticks with you? I had one several years ago when I spoke with the District Superintendent of a Canadian denomination.
We happened to be chatting about a pastor who had just stepped away from his congregation. As we spoke, the DS casually mentioned, “You know, I liked John. But he had this habit of ‘shame preaching.’ He tended to use guilt tactics that manipulated his congregation to change.”
Immediately, this subtle comment made me think about my preaching and writing styles.
Do I preach and write in a way that shames people into adopting my position? Am I constantly pointing out the flaws of others while glossing over my own inconsistencies? Am I a judgy person?
Unfortunately, the longer we’ve been a Christian, the easier it is to become judgy of others. We’re always evaluating, always critiquing, always holding others up to a standard they can’t meet—all while giving ourselves a pass. We do as Stephen Covey writes and “judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior.”[1]
When we do this, we become judgy people. So what is the answer?
