What Troy Keaton Taught Me About Discipleship

Now that we’ve looked at the first three categories (God, family, close friends) of the seven ways Jesus cast his BREAD to others, it’s time to turn to category #4—disciples.

First, a quick example. Whenever I work with first-time authors, one of my initial questions is, “Who is your target audience?” Often, they’ll respond with something like, “Ezra, I think this book is for everyone! After all, I don’t want to limit myself by focusing on one group of people.”

And that’s when I know we’re in trouble.

There is nothing wrong with an author wanting everyone to read her book. But there is something wrong if she expects this to happen. No matter how hard an author tries, many will not connect with her style or content. This is why writers should always have a target audience in mind.

The same principle holds true in life. The older we get, the more we realize it’s only possible to impact a small circle of people. According to British anthropologist Robin Dunbar, the average human can only maintain 150 stable relationships. I’m not sure this number is exact, but I can tell you from pastoral experience that the dynamics of a church change dramatically after a church exceeds the 200-person barrier.

Our human limitations dictate that we can make only so many meaningful connections. And so it’s important we define who we want to impact and cast our BREAD accordingly. In my life, I’ve had some wonderful people invest in me, and I’ve also had the chance to invest in others. 

Let me give you an example.

The Joy of Investing

Last year, I received a text from one of my lifelong friends and mentors, Troy Keaton. All through my twenties, Troy was someone who spent countless hours discipling me and investing in my life. After wrapping up Bible college in 2011, I moved to work for him at Eastlake Community Church in Moneta, Virginia.

There, Troy taught me a ton about prayer, leadership, and making a positive impact in a local community. Some of my best leadership lessons were the quiet ones away from the limelight of Sunday morning. These included times Troy would give me a call at midnight to help him with a crisis in the church, evenings he’d help me work on my 1999 Oldsmobile Alero, and moments we’d spend in his office talking about what it meant to be a person of character.

When Janan and I moved to Toronto to plant a church, my weekly conversations with Troy often kept me going. If I were to calculate the number of hours Troy invested in my life, I’m sure the number is high.

But this morning when I received a text from Troy, it was a screenshot from his son Trever, who was getting ready to preach one of his first sermons.

In Trever’s notes, he shared this thought that both surprised and encouraged me: 

I was 14 years old. A very annoying kid to be around, I'm sure. But there was this man by the name of Ezra Byer, and Ezra would take me and a few other kids out. Ezra was a quiet, humble man. He was one of the pastors at the church we attended. And Ezra saw it necessary to just take 3 or 4 14-year-olds out to play frisbee golf and go hiking and just be a godly example.

And one time, Ezra pulled me aside one on one and told me he said, "Trever, I just want you to know that I see so much potential in you. I see you have so much leadership capability, and I just know that God is going to use you in a mighty way, and I can't wait to see what God does through you." At the time, I was an immature 14-year-old kid, and I thought...OK that's cool, whatever. I just bogeyed this par 4 in frisbee golf, so who even cares?

But Ezra didn't see with human eyes. Because human eyes would have told you that Trever is annoying, he's prideful, he's disrespectful, he is not worth the time and effort. But over the years, in times that I was not serving God and I was doing things my own way and anxiety and depression weighed on me, I can't tell you how many times I thought to myself, "BUT THAT MAN OF GOD TOLD ME I HAD A BRIGHT FUTURE, HE TOLD ME GOD WAS GOING TO USE ME. IT MUST BE TRUE!'

Trever went on to say, “If it weren't for Ezra, I don't believe I would be in ministry today.” Wow, talk about some humbling words!

But Here Is the Catch

Much as I’d like to take credit for this turning point in Trever’s life, the truth is a bit more complex. First of all, I think Trever would have turned out just fine without me because he’s a great guy. Second, my decision to invest in the life of Trever and his friends was in response to his father's investment in my life.