What Do I Do If I Hate My Life?

A Few Thoughts to Consider

Have you ever hated your life so much that you wanted to die?

This is where Job was at in Job 10. In Chapter 8, Bildad, one of his friends, responds to Job's lament by insisting that God is just and that Job's suffering must be a result of his own sin or wrongdoing. Bildad encourages Job to repent and seek God's mercy.

In Chapter 9, Job replies by acknowledging God's immense power and justice but questions how any human, even if innocent, could argue their case before such a mighty and unknowable deity. Job feels overwhelmed and trapped by his suffering, expressing his frustration that there seems to be no mediator between himself and God. As David Clines writes, “Only a person who finds no joy in life would dare to speak as Job will of God.”^[1] In Job 10:1-7, Job vents his full frustration to God and says:

¹ I am disgusted with my life.
I will give vent to my complaint
and speak in the bitterness of my soul.
² I will say to God,
“Do not declare me guilty!
Let me know why you prosecute me.
³ Is it good for you to oppress,
to reject the work of your hands,
and favor the plans of the wicked?
⁴ Do you have eyes of flesh,
or do you see as a human sees?
⁵ Are your days like those of a human,
or your years like those of a man,
⁶ that you look for my iniquity
and search for my sin,
⁷ even though you know that I am not wicked
and that there is no one who can rescue from your power?

John Hartley writes, “The agony churning inside him compels him to speak his thoughts boldly and freely. He is justifying his complaint against God in the fact that God has made his soul so bitter.”^[2] In Job’s eyes, all he can feel is pain, and all he can see for the future is a life of pain. His family is gone, his wealth is gone, and his health is gone. But that’s not even the worst of it.