The Real Issue Behind Doubts

Behind every doubt is a doubter, and doubters are always more important than their doubts.

Whenever uncertain about how to speak to a person, I come back to Ephesians 4:15 and the importance of speaking the truth in love. Without love, I do as 1 Corinthians 13 warns and make a whole lot of commotion to no effect. I draw attention to myself and away from the beauty of Christ.

But when I look at someone who doubts, even someone who is a bit hostile, and I love them with the love of Christ, I play a small part in bringing God’s kingdom to earth. 

A brief example.

A Conversation

In a conversation I had with Pastor Jay Kim, he shared the story of how his church ran a Christian coffee house next to their church location in Silicon Valley. The coffee shop wasn’t explicitly connected to the church, but when a local university student discovered this connection and found out Jay’s church held a traditional view of marriage, she launched a campaign to shut the coffee shop down.

At first, Jay was angry and sat down at his computer to send this girl a firm response. But then he tried a different approach. Rather than getting into a tit-for-tat email exchange, he asked this student if they could meet in person. She agreed, and a few days later, they met for coffee.

As they interacted in person, something changed. The walls came down, and together, they laughed and even cried as they shared some of their mutual backgrounds and experiences. At the end of the meeting, they still held very different positions, but a relationship was established. Jay gained a friend, and the student agreed to stop her campaign to shut down the coffee house.[1]

When I asked him about this interaction, Jay made the profound point that we must always distinguish between hate and hurt. From his initial perspective, this woman hated him, his church, and their coffee shop. She was out to get him. But when he sat down with her face-to-face, he saw she was someone who had experienced hurt. He saw someone who needed love.    

I share this story because when we are followers of Christ, our relationship with God is the most real thing about us. It’s from this connection that our entire identity is formed. And when we encounter someone who questions the foundation on which we have built our lives, it can feel like a threatening encounter. We feel like we are coming under attack. But often, if we are patient and take the time to get to know people, we will discover the root of their doubts.

And it is as we encounter those who express a lack of confidence in Christ that we must tap into our own confidence found in him.

Guard Against the Allure of Arrogance

The older we get and more rooted in our positions we become, the easier it is to shut off outside voices. If you’ve been a Christian for a while, chances are most of your friends are Christians. And if you’re not careful, you’ll start to hold an arrogant view of the world.