Should Every Christian Get Married and Have Kids?
Jesus was single and entirely whole. That’s because his completion came not from another human being but from the union with the Holy Spirit and his Heavenly Father.
Sometimes I cringe when I hear Christian speakers talk about family because it’s clear they have the suburban American/Canadian dream as their template. “If you’re a Christian,” they say, “you will find a spouse, get married, have babies, and make your community a better place.”
To be clear, this isn’t a bad paradigm. It’s one God established, and it’s one my wife and I have followed. However, the problem occurs when this model is presented as the only option.
I think of my friends who are same-sex attracted, believe a heterosexual marriage is not an option they can pursue, and, in devotion to Jesus, have committed themselves to a life of celibacy. In doing so, they make a level of self-sacrificial commitment most in pop culture deem foolish, and many heterosexual Christians have never considered.
Rather than look to these individuals as models of tremendous faith and courage, many Christians have stuck with their 1960s American Dream version of Christianity and pressed these single adults to the margins.
“Yes, you can attend our church, but you’re not going to be able to lead a ministry.” “Feel free to sit in the audience, but you’re never going to share from the stage.” “Be part of our church family, but understand that all our programs are geared towards the middle-aged couple with two kids.”
You've heard it before, but it bears repeating. Jesus was single and entirely whole. That’s because his completion came not from another human being but from the union with the Holy Spirit and his Heavenly Father. And out of this divine union, he entered the family structure on earth that God created.
Marriage between one man and one woman is a God-ordained institution, but it is also one Jesus said would not exist beyond this life.[1] That’s because the basic intent of marriage and family are to point us to an even greater union that exists with God—one that countless single individuals around the globe can and do experience.
How did Jesus, as a single adult, model family behavior? We catch a glimpse of this when Jesus performed his first miracle.
