Is It Possible to Be Sexually Fulfilled in Marriage?

A Few Thoughts to Consider

Do married couples experience greater intimacy than nonmarried couples?

This subject has been widely discussed both inside and outside Christian circles for generations. Those who don’t believe Scripture argue that sexual partners are happier when there isn’t marital commitment involved. After all, isn’t it better to “try a car” before you buy one? To counter this, many Christian speakers in recent decades have made arguments like “the best sex is married sex.” So which side is right?

The answer seems obvious, but it’s not so straightforward. The author of Song of Solomon, Solomon, enjoyed sexual intimacy with over a thousand partners. He certainly does not shy away from sharing intimate sexual details.

In Song of Solomon 7:1, Solomon shares the perspective of a lover who says, “How beautiful are your sandaled feet, princess! The curves of your thighs are like jewelry, the handiwork of a master.” As Duane Garrett notes, “His praise of her beauty moves generally from bottom to top, the reverse of 4:1-5. Sandals are mentioned because they enhance the natural beauty of her feet. The comparison of her thighs (rather than ‘legs’) to jewels means only that they seem finely crafted; no actual description of their appearance is meant.”^[1]

Then, in verse 2, he says, “Your navel is a rounded bowl; it never lacks mixed wine. Your belly is a mound of wheat surrounded by lilies.” As John Balchin writes, “It would seem that eastern men of this period didn’t like their women on the thin side!”^[2]

Verses 3-4 say, ³ Your breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle. ⁴ Your neck is like a tower of ivory, your eyes like pools in Heshbon by Bath-rabbim’s gate. Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking toward Damascus.” “This gives the impression of the right kind of self–confidence; she holds her head up high, and there is no drooping with her.”^[3] This revealing form of narrative continues throughout this chapter and the next.