How I Invest in My Family When I'm on Call for 24 Hours

Being away from your family is tough, even for something essential like work.

My work in rural emergency medicine in northern Ontario, Canada, takes me away from home for 24-hour shifts, sometimes back-to-back. When I finally get a chance to sleep on shift, my fitful dreams are mostly of a busy waiting room and sick patients.

When I finally get home, I’m physically and often emotionally exhausted. This kind of experience isn’t unique to me. I have it easy compared to some who are away working for a week or more at a time.

Shift work, traveling, and long hours are the reality for many, often straining family life. The question becomes: How can you not just endure a difficult work schedule but also thrive in it?

Here are some methods I’ve found to be helpful, although I often fall short in actually putting them into practice.

The Main Idea: Make the Most of Your Time

How can we do this? Here are a few principles that I’ve found helpful.

First, optimize your time together as a family. In Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, he exhorts believers to: “be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time…” (5:15,16).

Time is precious, and what could be more precious than time with family? I don’t mean you should pack into your day as much activity and programming as possible. Instead, recognize what a precious commodity family time is.

Make plans and set goals for the day. Read a book together. Learn something new together. Go for a walk or try cooking together. Children grow so quickly. Don’t let hours and days slip away to scrolling, lazing, or distraction.

Second, protect your attention. My work comes with paperwork and follow-up calls. It’s tempting to leave that work for a day off when I would have more time. In my experience, this almost never helps. Instead, these little undone tasks float around in the back of my mind, distracting me from the present.

There is a term for this kind of distraction: attention residue.[1] Even though you’ve put aside a task, thoughts of it can linger, distracting from your present focus. The solution I’ve found is, as much as possible, do your work while you are at work.

If I can’t finish everything while at the hospital, I try to set a specific time to finish it. These simple strategies preserve undivided attention at home.

Third, tell them you've missed them. What a simple piece of advice this is. I miss my wife and kids when I'm away, and I make sure to tell them. I want them to know I don't take this separation lightly.

Fourth, share work with them. This one takes some tact and may not be for everyone. My son loves to hear about my work, so I carefully choose stories that are appropriate to his age and understanding. He takes pride in hearing I could help a little boy with a sore ear or stomach. It helps him see the purpose behind my time away and gives him a connection to my work.

So, How Can I Put These Principles Into Practice?

Work is a necessary part of life and has been since the beginning. For some, it will involve more distance and time away from family. What remains in your control is how you use the precious time you do have. Make the most of it with undivided attention.

Here’s one final thought, and it might be the most important of all. Deuteronomy 11:19 has God’s direct instruction on how to invest in family, and it is to teach your children God’s word: “You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up.”

Speaking to our children of the Lord, His works, and His ways should naturally fill the hours of life. These conversations should be an everyday occurrence, whether we’re sitting, walking, lying down, or getting up. These are the moments that matter in eternity.

This won’t always come easily, but it will be worth it. Think about it: Could there be a more worthwhile calling than investing in the family God entrusted you?

Whatever time you have today, make the most of it. Invest in light of eternity, giving thanks to God for the family He has given you.

[1] S. Leroy, “Why Is It So Hard to Do My Work? The Challenge of Attention Residue When Switching Between Work Tasks,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 109, no. 2 (2009): 168–181.