Six Steps to Seeing the Overlooked

Yesterday, my brother-in-law Matt shared how it's easy to overlook others. Today, I want to give you some clear ways you can "cast your bread" and see others. This starts by understanding that everyone hurts–albeit in different ways. As Alan Noble writes,

Think about someone you know who is living the good life: someone well dressed, confident, smiling, high achieving, maybe even attractive and intelligent and funny. Nine times out of ten, they are carrying around something unspeakably painful. And often, when you learn what that pain is, it’ll be something completely unexpected.^[1]

So, how do we extend love to those who are hurting or overlooked? How do we see others as Jesus saw them? Here are a few steps that have helped me.

Six Steps to See the Overlooked

Step 1: Spend time with Jesus | The other day I was meditating on Acts 4. In this passage, Jesus has ascended into heaven and his apostles are bolding telling others about him. Peter and John are leading the charge, and their latest sermon has the religious leaders in a state of anger.

Verse 13 says they viewed Peter and John as uneducated and common men but then make this powerful observation. It says, “They recognized that they had been with Jesus.”

I think of this statement a lot because I’m convinced it is the key to any investment we make in others. When we are with Christ, others notice, and we look at them through the lens of a compassionate, merciful, Savior. And when we don’t spend time with Christ, we become cold and callused.

Step 2: Deprive Yourself of Something You Enjoy | Long before intermittent fasting became a trend, Christians throughout the centuries have practiced the discipline of fasting.

While fasting in the Bible wasn’t a requirement, it was a natural expectation for those who loved God. Unfortunately, this is often a lost spiritual discipline among believers today. We love our fast food but aren’t as big into fasting. But when we deprive ourselves of that which we most crave, we open our eyes to the way others suffer deprivation.

Step 3: Change Your Mindset | Time and time again, Jesus placed his own physical interests after the interests of others. Most notably, before he went to the cross, Jesus prayed to the Father and asked that “Not I, but your will be done.”

Jesus lived his life and treated people with high value, regardless of how they looked and acted. Along with placing others’ needs above our own, it’s important to acknowledge their hurt. When someone is unseen, rest assured they live with a sense of pain.

Sometimes this isn’t obvious, and it’ll take time for it to surface, but if you are persistent and remain in their lives, you will notice. They might put on a nice front and act as though everything is OK, but underneath this façade there is hurt.

Step 4: Offer Your Seat at the Table | Often, overlooked individuals sit at the foot of the table of society. They are the voiceless ones who do not have a seat at the table of influence. When we are the seen, we must be the ones to initiate change. It’s not enough to say, “I accept you for who you are.” We must give others the opportunity to belong.

This means whenever we are in a position of power, we must be willing to give up our places so others who are unseen can have a seat. Practically speaking, if you lead a small group, but it offers no option for childcare, do not expect young families to attend. If you talk about how God loves those with disabilities, but you only pursue activities “healthy” people can perform, do not expect your circle of friends to change.