Four Types of People I Like to Partner With
What if someone believes differently than I do? Which Christians should I trust? Here are four characteristics to look for.
When I was a young Christian, I had an unhealthy obsession with influencers. I was impressed with people who spoke from a stage or "made a big impact for God." I wanted to be around these people, hoping their good vibes would rub off on me.
But then one Mr. Cool influencer let me down. Another had a sex scandal. Another was a bully to his church congregation. And another embezzled tons of money. The other day, I saw an old flyer for a 2009 church conference. Half of the big-name speakers listed are people I no longer respect due to messy public scandals.
Today, I have very different criteria. Instead of pursuing the big-name voices of people who are making it happen, I'm constantly in search of people who have great faith and are at ease with who they are in Christ.
Sometimes they're on a stage and write tons of books. But more often, they're steady people who have what Eugene Peterson called "a long obedience in the same direction."
To me, there are four primary characteristics of great faith that I look for when I'm thinking of partnering with others.
People of Great Faith Are Committed to Discipline
In Celebration of Discipline (as we went through earlier this year), Richard Foster divides spiritual disciplines into three categories. These include inward disciplines (meditation, prayer, fasting, and study), outward disciplines (simplicity, solitude, submission, and service), and corporate disciplines (confession, worship, guidance, and celebration).
People of great faith understand that a strong spiritual life flows from a strong, disciplined life. They do the basics of life well. They understand the importance of what I call “faithful plodding.” Their spiritual well-being isn’t dependent on others constantly checking in to see how they are doing. Instead, they’re internally motivated to pursue God and draw closer to him.
People of Great Faith Are Secure in Christ
There is tremendous security that comes from being comfortable with who we are in Christ. And when I think about it, virtually every poor choice I have ever made in life has come through some form of insecurity with this relationship. It’s because of insecurity in Christ that I make a hurtful comment to my wife, present myself better in the eyes of others, or get angry with a customer service rep on the phone. Something within me says I am entitled to have things go my way.
Insecurity manifests itself in a thousand different ways, and no person fully gets over all their insecurities. But for me, the key is personal awareness. I don’t mind partnering with someone who is insecure in some area so long as they are aware of this issue and are taking steps to correct it. An insecure person who thinks others can’t see their insecurities will position themselves better than they are, feel the need to drive a conversation, and often cut others down behind their backs.
In contrast, secure Christians walk with a sense of humble self-confidence. They do not hang their heads, because they are children of a living God. But they do not elevate themselves because they are walking in the footsteps of their savior.
People of Great Faith Are Willing to Sacrifice
This brings us to the importance of personal sacrifice.
Personally, I find it hard to trust someone who isn’t willing to sacrifice and always chooses a path of comfort. If they are in some form of ministry, have they always chosen positions in churches that further their careers? When was the last time they made a decision that cost them financially and benefited others? Do they always position their needs above others? How are they denying themselves and taking up their crosses?
I’m not looking for someone who makes an idol out of unnecessary suffering, but from the early days of the Christian church until now, suffering has always been part of the Christian experience.
People of Great Faith Love Others
When I go back and look at church history, I am struck by the incredible love early Christians possessed for their communities. Christians were known for their care of the poor, love for the sick, and commitment to pray for their oppressors.
A couple of years ago, I spoke with Hannah Nation, who spoke about the incredible ways the gospel is spreading in China today. Despite religious persecution that has seen strong church leaders such as Wang Yi sentenced to jail for their faith, the love Chinese Christians have for those who oppose them is astonishing and convicting.
Whereas Christians in the West often fight injustice through political means, Christians in China fight injustice through prayer and careful reflection. They view persecution as an opportunity to refine themselves of ways they are not like Christ. How Christians respond to injustice defines the measure of their love for others.
So What About You?
What types of people do you like to partner with? Jot these characteristics down and make an effort to run with as many people like this as possible.
